JOKES 2

Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a small 2-seater Cessna plane crashed into
a cemetery. Irish search & rescue workers have recovered 126 bodies so far & expect that number to
climb as digging continues into the night.

The Banana Test

There is a very, very tall coconut tree and there are 4 animals, a Lion, a Chimpanzee, a Giraffe, and a Squirrel, who pass by.
They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?

Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . . Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now go to the bottom of the page for your analysis

If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.

Chimpanzee = you're a moron.

Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax!
Try again next year.

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Pastor said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service: "And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who
passed trash against us."

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother
and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let us go?"

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book
and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa,
did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better, isn't he?"

John, my darling husband,
Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck
when I , turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about
me.
I was coming home from Wal -Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead
of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.
I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me.
You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you.
I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.
Your loving wife,
Samantha

P.S.
Oh, Your girlfriend called!!!!